I am going to go ahead and worn everyone reading this I am having a bad day.... so stop reading now if you dont want to hear alot of whining :)
I am really struggling right now at this very moment, I want so bad to be a full-time mom I can hardly stand it and it just seems like I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have 3 different ways I am trying to make money on the side to help supplement to make it easier to come home once we get a few things paid off, well so far we have lost money so I am officially hurting our income not helping in anyway shape or form! We would like to have another baby sometime in the near future I do not want my kids real far apart but the LAST thing I am going to do is have another baby and ask my parents and andys parents to keep the baby every day while I go to work. They have done enough just keeping aubrey..... I did not think I would still be working, when Aubrey was born I figured maybe a few months and I would be able to stay home with her well almost two years later and I am still working 4 days a week. I dont really know why I am spilling all this out there for who knows how many people to read but I am really frustrated and I just wanted to type it all out!
I wanted to blog today about my amazing weekend get-away with andy, glen, and amy and I will probably do so in the next couple of days but it did not take long for reality to hit today that I am no longer on vacation! This all started today from a girl at work being ugly....what can I say there are 6 woman who work together in a small office there are bound to be fusses and aggravations well today something that was said just flew all over me so I smarted back so she smarted back to me and so on and so on until we are now not even talking I know that sounds so juvenile trust me it sounds stupid to me too but I can not help that I am mad I know we will both get over it and move on but today.... right now all I can think is I am giving 110% I am not appreciated and I dont even want to do it! So why am I????? Well then it comes back around to I have to do it .....which brings me back to losing money in all my little ventures of trying to make money which makes me start crying all over again! So here I sit at the computer while the potatoes are boiling on the stove because I am supposed to take a meal to a friend tonight who just had a baby and I have already called amy and she is coming to pick up the potato soup and take it to them because I can not go anywhere looking like the mess I look like right now!
I just read everything I have typed most of yall are going to think I have completly lost my mind.... so instead of me going on and on will you just pray that God will make a way....because right now from my point of view there is no way! I just feel stuck in the mud right now and I guess I needed to get it out so there it is .....I just put it out there for everyone to read :)
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I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, dental assistant, and friend who is going to try to express herself on a webpage. HaHa this ought to be fun! Enjoy the ride :)
7 comments:
Lil' sis. I love you. Don't let the mud be your focus. let the feeling of the mud squishing through your toes make you smile and just keep on tromping through it. Mud can't go on forever it has to dry up eventually. So Just play with the muddy frogs draw happy faces in it with sticks what ever ya got to do.(all in your head of course cause we aren't talking about real mud) Just keep looking up sis. God knows where the mud ends He might TAKE you through it all or He might pull you out of it. I love you and miss you.
Jonathan
there isnt a whole lot anyone can say to help ya here... only that we are praying for ya - - and know that it will all work out eventually... I dont understand fully what you mean, however, i do understand that feeling of wanting to do something great, and not having the finances to do it... its frustrating, and feels like horrible cycle.. its hard to get out of... and we cant expect overnight fixes - - but we do serve a wonderful God, who knows what we are going through... so, just trust him sis... i agree with Jon.
love ya
Don't give up! I understand frustration..maybe mine is different than yours....but it is still frustration. In Psalm 55:22 it instructs us: "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
Tell God how you are feeling....talk to him. Yell out if you want to. He can take it. I have asked him lately in a very upset voice "God what is going on?" I know this may sound strange...but, I actually, felt better by just getting it all out to him. Then you must take time to be still and hear HIS voice.
You and your family is special to me and I will be praying for you.
Darlene
If your husband is on board with you staying home, you guys should sit down and make a plan together for when and how you will stay home. Make a budget, make a timeline, put a real plan into action! I know that desire to stay home with your kids is strong, and it seems far away, but you can do it!
Also, have you considered making a ton of your hairbows and doing trunk shows with them? That costs very little to get started and is a great way to sell product.
I may be sticking my nose way too far into your business, but I'm only trying to help! :)
I will be praying for God to provide a way for you to stay at home, and soon!
Tricia
Praying for you and with you.
Love you so much!
Jenifer, I so know how you feel. I have been there and I understand. I will do everything in my power to help you come home for good. You are such a talented photographer and you will only get better!
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